Discussion: The Power of Solitude

When I was younger, I believed that when you were alone, you weren’t cool, you were a loner, a loser, and that nobody wanted to be with you.

OH, HOW WRONG WAS I?

I know I’m not the only one who thought that way and maybe some kids nowadays still think like that which is very sad.

I personally think that because I spent so much time alone, thinking, listening, and observing my surroundings, I became more aware. I wouldn’t have the mindset I have right now if I were always with people and I didn’t spend much time to myself.

I decided to call this post « The Power of Solitude » because all my life I’ve always seen the word « seule » (« alone » in French) negatively. However, through the years, I’ve learned to really value this word and what it meant. It truly has the power to change you for the better.

So, what is so good about solitude? Let me talk about my experiences.

1. You get to know yourself better (your needs, wants, and dislikes)

When you spend so much time alone, you have no one to talk to, so your attention is mostly focused on what YOU are doing. Therefore, from my experience, that’s when you learn more about yourself because your attention is on you, no one else.

In life, it’s important to know what you like and what you dislike. In order for you to figure that out, you have to experience things, yes. However, you also need to dedicate some time to reflect on your experiences. It’s not wrong to share these with your friends and loved ones, but often, we get influenced by other people’s opinions. So, what I would do is reflect on what I like and dislike first by myself, so that when I do share it, I know where I stand.

2. You love yourself more.

This can be different for many. I am not an expert, so don’t quote me. I’m just talking about my own experience. While I’m proud to say that I, now, love myself, it hasn’t always been the case.

It took a really long time to get to this point. What really helped me was learning to accept, to reflect and to act. I knew that I was experiencing a lack of self-esteem, and social anxiety. Before I could deal with these, I had to accept that I had them. I had to tell myself, yes I lack self-esteem. Yes, I have social anxiety. When I accepted that, I started to search for different ways on how to cope with anxiety and how to improve my confidence.

Like I said before, I spent and still spend a lot of time alone, and so I am able to reflect a lot about my life and that’s one of the reasons why I value and respect myself more.

Again, you can talk to people, but no one really understands you more than yourself. Remember that.

3. You acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them.

When you’re with people, your focus is on the event that is happening and the people that are involved. In order for you to learn about your actions and/or mistakes, you have to exclude yourself from people. Find a place where no one can bother you and let yourself reflect. You can say it out loud (it could seem weird, but you’re alone anyway, no one will judge you) or you can write it down. It’s like analyzing literature and figuring out why characters behave a certain way. You can’t really write a proper essay or have a good analysis if you’re surrounded by noise.

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