We’re more invested in how we’re perceived than who we are
I think the reason why we lack self-esteem or we lose so many opportunities in life is that we care so much more about what other people think of us instead of focusing on ourselves.
People judge whether they’re good or bad, everyone judges others. Some are good at hiding it, but regardless, we all do it. Everyone is different and we can’t control what they’re feeling. Moreover, we cannot change the way they see us.
How do we put our focus on ourselves though? Rather than complaining and saying it’s so hard, think about what exactly you want. Why do you need to work on yourself? Give yourself reasons why you don’t want to stay insecure and be affected by others. Once you do that, then you can start thinking about the steps you will take to reach that goal. It’s much easier to know which route you need to take when your destination is clear. While I admit it’s hard and there will be times when you will feel like giving up, always go back to the reason why you’re working on your well-being in the first place.
We’re more comforted by ideas of what things are opposed to what they really are.Brianna Wiest
As much as we hate to admit it or not, we idealize things and people. This doesn’t really end well. So why do we do it? Because we like to create our own fairytale in our heads or our own happily ever after because we know it will never happen in real life or it is unlikely. Rather than dealing with the disappointment of this fact, we imagine the best scenario in our minds. Sadly, this only gives us temporary happiness.
For example, you imagine in your head that everyone loves you and you’re happy at that moment. However, once you go back to reality and realize, there are people who you don’t along with and who criticize you, it’s going to affect your confidence and trigger your insecurities.
How do we stop doing this? Be grateful for who you’re with and accept who they are. Same thing with situations. Stop trying to change it when it’s too late. Accept that it happened and you can’t do anything about it. Accept that not everyone will like you because we’re human beings and we’re all different. We have different personalities, different values, and different goals. Of course, we won’t get along with everybody. Accept that there are things in life that are not meant for us, but that there are other great opportunities ahead of us.
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