One year of reading self-help books

It was in April 2022 that I started to question my purpose in life a lot more. I was sick and tired of feeling like crap every single day. I lost so much weight. I hated my anxiety attacks because no matter what I did, I knew they would always come back. I hated the fact that I cared too much about what other people thought about me. I questioned my career choice. I questioned every look people gave me. I questioned my abilities. I questioned my existence. I found it so hard to believe that I was actually good.

It only took one student for me to reach my limit and made me go fuck, I want to leave this state of mind. This student made my first year of teaching a living hell. It was only around April that I just couldn’t handle it no more. I said things that I wasn’t supposed to say as an educator. People would reassure me and said that we’re all humans, but I knew I could’ve prevented it.

So, I searched for answers. I bought the book Master Your Emotions by Thibaut Meurisse because my emotions were all over the place at that time and I blamed myself for reacting so harshly to people because I couldn’t handle my own emotions. A quote that stuck to me is « negative emotions are not the problem, the mental suffering you create out of these emotions is. » This is one of the reasons why I avoided overthinking. I hated overthinking because it lead me to a state where there was nothing good to see. My thoughts were all negative and I started to hate myself.

Then, I bought Show Your Work by Austin Kleon. This book got me to be more active on this website. I was writing once a week for almost a year. I only stopped this year (2023) to focus on other things. But anyhow, this site actually helped me reflect and let go of my thoughts. I kept a journal, but blogging also helped especially when I got to read some comments. It’s always nice to know that people agree with you or that your posts somewhat made them think about their own life.

I’ve been reading self-help books for a year now and they truly helped me think more purposefully. I noticed how I am thinking less about what other people think, but more on what can I do to improve myself and how can I reach my goals. It got me to focus on what I can control. I’m not perfect and I’m not saying I know everything now, but I am way better now than I was last year.

I am better because I took initiative to read a book on a topic that I was struggling with which then lead me to read more books about life, listen to more people and talk to more people and learn more…

So if you’re struggling or feeling lost, there’s always a way to get out of that state. You just need to look for it.